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The Pasture & The Willow

by Vagabonds

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    The Pasture & The Willow.
    An album by Vagabonds.
    Ten songs on joy, grief, connection, and ordinary pain.
    Email vagabondsmichigan@gmail.com for orders outside of the United States

    TRACKLIST

    Book One:
    I Sungazer
    II Conjure
    III The Checkout Line
    IV Nearness
    V Theme From A Recurring Dream

    Book Two:
    I The Vessel Breaks
    II A Quiet Truth
    III Maybe (Callow)
    IV Prospects of Hope
    V To The Center (a denouement)

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Pasture & The Willow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
    ships out within 5 days

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    One time limited run of The Pasture & The Willow with an alternate cover by Field Sparrow for our release shows.
    Gold cassette in an O card.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Pasture & The Willow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 50 

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Shirt + Digital Album

    A companion to the The Pasture & The Willow.

    Text & Willow by Adam Vass
    Layout & flowers by Luke Dean

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Pasture & The Willow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 50 

      $25 USD or more 

     

1.
Sungazer 03:02
It won’t happen like you think It will happen in the blink Of an eye Catch you by surprise It won’t happen like you think I’m not ready I was spinning in circles Staring at the sun Refused to sing My mourning song Inject my veins Lay me embalmed Blinded myself To my own loss It won’t happen like you think It will happen in the blink Of an eye Catch you by surprise It won’t happen like you think
2.
Conjure 03:48
If I live long enough to live As long as I have again I’ll write it in a paperback Call it “There & Back Again” A wink at the fable Of mountains and magic Not all that far off from A life spent in transit Some words on the wilderness From a failed high school poet With half written metaphors To buffer the sadness Erase the names Sub out the date Blur out the passage Those years in the forest When I foraged and forged my own truth Conjure a ghost I once knew These days it’s uncertain I’ll ever leave Michigan Been bound by a spell or some incantation I gaze in the absence from a park bench near a campus With eyes still wide open I channel and I drift To a place through the evergreens Out in the morning breeze My breath in the air The dark wood before me Somewhere in the firmament Or how I imagine it The crunching of snow summons me to the present view Conjure a ghost I once knew It was you
3.
Feel like a zombie on the dayshift With an autopilot Recite obligatory pleasantries For the checkout line Now, there’s some pictures that I didn’t take There’s others I can’t find But in either case It’s eating me alive I’ll go back to Weeks spent in my room I’ve got it all down to a science ‘Cause I’ve done this a dozen times I wish I would’ve called in sick To give the grief some time to settle in And as I run to the back room I’m holding the tears from my eyes This isn’t what you would’ve wanted You would’ve been here laughing You would’ve told me “It’ll be alright Just give it some time”
4.
When I drive home From your place The distance stays the same ‘Cause I don’t know How to construe That stillness in your face When I ask you if you’re alright You swear that you’re okay Is there something fermenting? What is it? I can’t say I wish you could tell me But I’m with you anyway I miss you I’ll wait for you As long as it takes Come on and cut through the curtain And climb on through Can I be closer to you? When I walk in To your room You rerun everything How your head spins When you’re weakened How your consciousness feels cruel How your worries become unleashed How your worst fears slowly brew You cut the ugly parts from my brain And you plant flowers that bloom I wish I could change but You’re with me anyway Through distance And in nearness Through ordinary pain Come on and cut through the curtain And climb on through Can I be closer to you?
5.
Waiting for the dream to wear off A writer on a bad trip directing the plot Like vivid visions from an LSD drop Our antihero is uncovering a fatal flaw Folded hands, fingers crossed Imagination does away with me Replays distortions of the things I’ve seen Projecting scenes from future histories Feels like it’s really happening I see My old friends getting older without me We’re breaking bonds that we swore we’d keep A fabric from which my life was weaved I see you reaching for a ripper You’re coming for the seams I had a vision of a faithful life I watched it disappear before my eyes Kept tradition of my family Falling deep into a well of false realities Two different dreams with a common theme The demon on my chest guides me through my sleep Whispers mantras in ear that my mind repeats Till my deepest fears feel like a prophecy Fast awake, wide asleep
6.
Concrete to grass I’m light on my heels Jumped over the fence Ran free in the fields The flower I picked Was a thistle that pricked Said please leave me be I’m not ready to leave The last legs of summer Bring the first leaves of fall By nature I’m nurtured In its grandeur made small I found a weeping willow Peeking out through its tears I ran through the meadow Sighed, for you weren’t near I made friends with the livestock Maybe weeks from the plate Unknowing, they graze So soon they’ll be slain Like the farmer’s scythe That takes what it takes You see, the peace comes to visit But never to stay I drank from your cup I ate from your plate But the food never fills The vessel still breaks Still, I marvel at mercy Of being offered a taste Or a glimpse at the pasture Fore night took it away
7.
Awoke to a smile From the pillow next to my own Misty morning eyes Obscuring the morning light A breeze brushes the curtains Of your second floor apartment I feel you slip out of bed And into the day ahead I love our little love I love the voice you use with me When the day is done Our little love Co-conspirators Quiet confidants Everyone’s got something to prove In our social class where cynics rule When my bitterness is bursting through It’s lifted when I look to you Like a lake at dusk Calm and blue Like the stillness Of the afternoon Contented being known by you In the comfort of a quiet truth I love our little love I love the voice you use with me When the day is done Our little love Co-conspirators And quiet confidants
8.
Maybe I loved you Maybe you knew As if I could hide it As if I weren’t a fool The way that I’d draw you pictures And I’d sing you songs Nights we’d go out dancing Then you’d drop me off Doesn’t everyone have someone In the back of their mind? Maybe it’s not overwhelming Doesn’t keep them up at night It’s that memory of innocence Looking deep into their eyes And wondering which one of you Would dare to break the ice One day I was over And I met your dad God, I was so nervous Shaking his hand Like the feeling I had when I first asked you to dance With a quiver in my voice You couldn’t hear what I said Doesn’t everyone have someone In the back of their mind? Maybe it’s not overwhelming Doesn’t keep me up at night It’s that memory of innocence Looking deep into your eyes And wondering which one of us Would dare to break the ice I still see you on that hillside Or in the car you used to drive Or at a southside park past midnight With you laying by my side And I too naïve to speak my mind Doesn’t everyone have someone In the back of their mind? Well, I don’t know if I’ve been yours But you always were mine I wouldn’t trade the love I’ve come to find All these years down the line But till then, it was you In the back of my mind
9.
I’ll pass the day at work Dreaming of places I’ve been Places I’ll go I’ll write the plan in the notebook I carry To visit the people I know But it seems so distant Almost like fiction Still gridlocked between the two coasts Was it me in the memory? Passionate, naïve Was it someone I lost on the road? I know that someday is coming So I’m waiting ‘round for the show Somewhere lost in the shuffle Of the workday and the status quo Well, I’m burning at both ends Slowly but surely Still scouting for prospects of hope ‘Cause staying in place is better Than just letting go I’ll pass the day at home Dreaming up ways to get by Ways to beat broke Dollars and decimals Bank fees by criminals Capit*l laughs at it’s joke But I’ll put my back in And I’ll get back in saddle As that saying goes Buy a house in the country For my love and me But we’ve still got years to go I know that someday is coming So I’m waiting ‘round for the show Somewhere lost in the shuffle Of the workday and the status quo Well, I’m burning at both ends Slowly but surely Still scouting for prospects of hope ‘Cause staying in place is better Than just letting go It’s always too soon Until it’s too late Always seems too close to say Well, I know that someday is coming So I’m waiting ‘round for the show Somewhere lost in the shuffle Of the workday and the status quo Well, I’m burning at both ends Slowly but surely Still scouting for prospects of hope ‘Cause staying in place is better Than just letting go
10.
When I find my way back To the center of myself The demon that sits on my chest Will find its way back to its hell And I will breathe And I will sleep Unburdened from the awful things About myself it told to me Try as I may to not believe The way you sunk your claws in me And glorified the suffering By some sadistic tendency In ritual of poisoning The bitter fruit that now I reap The broken cup I couldn’t drink The sacrament I couldn’t keep The elegy I couldn’t read The sun I looked at for relief Scorched my skin in mockery Of innocence I couldn’t keep That ordinary misery So blessed be, o blessed be The thistle and the evergreen The pasture and the willow tree Blessed be, o blessed be That song of hope still echoing My phantom pain still lingering This place, this place I long to be The center of own being

about

The Pasture & The Willow: ten songs on joy, grief, connection, and ordinary pain.

credits

released June 28, 2023

This album is an auditory collage that was pasted together by the following:

Luke S Dean - vocals, guitar, bass, piano, organ, wurlitzer
Nathan Coles - drums, percussion, additional piano
Jackie Kalmink - banjo, lap steel, harmonies
Matthew Frank - additional guitar & bass
Cotter Koopman - synthesizer
Camille Faulkner - violin
Willem Mudde - cello

Additional vocals on “Nearness” by Julia Steiner of Ratboys
Additional vocals on “Maybe (Callow)” by Brian Swindle
Additional vocals on “Sungazer” by Ethan Cook

Primary engineering by Matthew Frank & Jackie Kalmink
Additional engineering by Willem Mudde, Cotter Koopman, Julia Steiner, Brian Swindle, Camille Faulkner, Matt Eastman, & Luke S Dean
Technical help from Rick Johnson

Mixed by Calvin Lauber
Mastered by Will Yip

Accompanying videos & photos by Ethan Cook & Luke Dean
Album art & layout by Adam Vass

All songs written by Luke S Dean

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Vagabonds Grand Rapids, Michigan

All hail the great Mitten.

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